Avoiding Pressure
All people use words to persuade and convince. But there is a difference between respectful communication and coercive communication.
What is the difference between passive, assertive, and aggressive language?Passive language lacks self-confidence and can be easily refuted. Assertive language is self-assured and confident and is not easily refuted. Aggressive language is coercive and manipulative; it pressures rather than respects.
No one should be pressured into or forced into doing anything they do not feel is right for them. This is especially important when sex is involved. To avoid being pressured into having sex when you are not ready, it is important to learn refusal and avoidance techniques. Learning these techniques will help you safely get out of pressuring situations with peers and acquaintances. For example, if a date wants you to come to his or her house when parents are away, you can suggest an activity away from the home, such as going to dinner or a movie.
Avoidance and Refusal Techniques
| Pressure Statement | Refusal or Avoidance Technique |
| If you love me, you'll do it. | If you care about me, you won't pressure me. |
| Everybody is doing it. | Not everyone. I'm choosing not to, and so are some of my friends. |
| Don't be immature/Don't be so naïve. | Waiting is a mature and responsible choice, and it's the one I'm making. |
| I'll still respect you if you do it; I won't stop liking you. | I don't need your approval, and if I do it, I won't respect myself. |
